The Sheer Weight Of Hiring Investment Bankers

This is a poem I decided to write, after struggling with an Investment Banking role for a new boutique client of ours. Here goes the content:

I must have said this about a hundred times

But hiring Investment Bankers is one of the most difficult jobs

Especially if your client is not a company

That most people in the market would’ve come across

While going about their daily lives

Yes, nowadays people are rather choosy

They want to earn a salary

That can give them the freedom to buy a big house

Along with a bunch of cars

But are not willing to put in the hard yards

While you, as a recruiter

Slog away day and night

Doing your very best to strike a delicate balance

Between the expectations of both candidate and client

And ultimately end up getting the short end of the stick

From both

As candidate after candidate backs out

Due to a myriad variety of reasons

Whether it be the compensation

Or the scope of the role

Or receiving a more lucrative offer from another firm

Or simply developing cold feet

And the client chases you in turn

Like a hunting dog in hot pursuit of its prey

While the incentives you were supposed to earn

Vanish into thin air

Just like some of your candidates

Who make it a habit

To ghost recruiters left, right and centre

Anyway, coming back to Investment Bankers

Your client wants candidates with a strong academic background

Who are already closing deals on their own

But is not willing to pay them the salary they deserve

Meanwhile, you burn the midnight oil

Determined to ensure that the client gets what he wants

However, the candidates put a spanner in your works

By rejecting the very brand

That the client has built carefully over the years

Thus, you are left with no choice

But to compromise a bit

As far as your client’s expectations are concerned

And by doing that

You somehow manage to share a couple of resumes

But both are ultimately rejected by the client

In less time than it takes

For you to utter the word “Feedback”

Meanwhile, thanks to all those hours you’ve spent working

You’ve not had the time or energy

To put the treadmill to good use

Or go out for a walk

Consequently, you’ve gained weight

That too significantly

What can I say?

Recruitment takes a toll on you, mentally and physically

Especially when it comes to hiring Investment Bankers

Share your views please ! :)

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