An Open Letter To My Unofficial Sister

DISCLAIMER: All names have been changed for the sake of online privacy.

Dear Stella, this is an open letter to you. Firstly, let me clarify that this is not what an open letter usually is I.e. a letter meant as an appeal to the government or an influential celebrity. Secondly, I am not very good at this kind of stuff; so please be patient with me regarding any imperfections you might find (I warn you, there will be MANY!!). Finally, this will be a long read; but I am going to do my very best to ensure that you are hooked right from the beginning to the end. So, here goes:

First of all, Stella, I consider you my unofficial sister; though you are actually my best friend forever. This is because your parents, Jennifer Aunty and Kane Uncle, are as good as my parents; Jennifer Aunty and my Mom being almost like sisters – your Mom’s Cancer Trust being the catalyst for a relationship that has lasted close to 15 years and is growing stronger and stronger by the day. She is an absolute gem of a person and took a liking to me right away; when we first met in Jan 2014 – the occasion being the Mumbai Marathon, which we all took part in; in order to create awareness for the Cancer Trust. Your Dad has always been humble, unassuming and gentle to the core. I also caught a glimpse of you that day, urging people to quit smoking in order to prevent cancer; and needless to say, I liked what I saw.

As the years passed, Jennifer Aunty began to involve me more and more in the activities of the Trust; including preparing a crucial presentation towards the end of 2016. Gradually, she became kind of a mother figure to me and we began visiting each other often. On a few occasions I saw you as well, Stella; though unfortunately I could not attend your marriage – something I regret to this day. Ironically, we became good friends AFTER your marriage. Your husband Patrick is a very laidback and friendly guy and I can see that the pair of you are made for each other ❤ .

Over the years, we began visiting each other on a few occasions every year. You were initially quite close to my sister Sarah and the pair of you would sometimes talk nonstop 😀 . I was charmed to get a glimpse of your cute doggie Cheetah; dressed almost like a human :O . It warmed my heart, Stella, that you and Patrick looked after Cheetah almost like a son ❤ . I soon learned that you are vegan, just like your Mom; and moreover I loved the vegan dishes you cooked whenever we met – though I am actually a convert from a vegetarian to a nonvegetarian! 😛

The year 2021 was not a great one for various reasons, but my birthday was very special; thanks to you, Stella!! You didn’t just visit me, you came with a cake and that too at short notice; considering you had to leave back to Dubai the very next day. One of the sweetest surprises I have ever had in my life; thank you so much!! Later in that year, when I lost Kylie Grandma in such an untimely manner; you were one of the first people I reached out to for emotional support. I don’t know why but there is something about you that is extremely reassuring; I still cannot forget your encouraging words, telling me to stay strong – and I am proud to tell you that I did indeed stay strong and returned to work soon; in fact, just a few months later, I worked on two successive research projects that stressed me out like anything but somehow I managed to pull it off – something that I realised only years later was partly due to your moral support!! I really owe you one, Stella!!

It was only in 2023 that we became REALLY close; because it was then that I realised the value of having a friend as caring and at the same time as level-headed as you. In the beginning of October 2023, I was feeling dull and low in confidence and hence Whatsapped you; you could have simply messaged me back. Instead, you took the time out to call me and reassure me just the way I needed – it was that moment I realised that you were really a friend to treasure. Of course, as you know, I already had a best friend Tracy; but she was drawn to me mainly because of my money. In fact, that was the time when Tracy openly admitted to me that she was talking to me less because I was not helping her financially as I used to do earlier and she needed to spend more time with other friends and colleagues who had started providing that kind of support.

Because of Tracy’s behaviour, I felt hurt and betrayed and thus reached out to you; this was the first long call we had – it was on Botim and went on for more than an hour!! You gave me sound advice, based on your experience and shared some personal stuff with me as well. This call not only brought us closer, it also gave me a massive release of pent-up feelings and I felt like I had got a huge weight off my chest!! Most of all, though I continued to treat Tracy as my best friend for quite some time; I knew that I need not be dependent on her because I had people like you who genuinely cared for me and liked me for what I am rather than what I had or what I did. This unconditional love is what sets you apart from the rest, Stella!!

Since we met at a major Cancer Trust event in Oct 2023 in Mumbai; we have been meeting each other a record number of times till date – I feel so proud of our relationship!! The best part is whenever you have come to India since then, you have always met me without fail. Also, though you have many friends, it is not possible to meet everyone in every India trip; but you consider me special enough to meet me every single time; that’s one of the many reasons why I love you so much, platonically of course!! 2023 ended on a good note thanks to you; first we met you and Patrick at your home – this was my first meeting with Patrick and I was instantly charmed!! 😉 Then both of you came to my home the very next day; so sweet of the pair of you!!

2024 was a tough year for me on the whole, but YOU were one of the few people who made me smile quite a few times. When we met first, at the beginning of March; you were ill and I was very concerned about you – ultimately it turned out to be dengue and I realised how much you overwork (whether it be office or house work) and thus end up putting your health at risk. I am torn between concern and anxiety for you and admiration of your sheer dedication. Anyway, I was under a lot of work stress and I often vented my feelings to you; so sweet of you to not mind it even one bit and always encourage me with your soothing words.

The month of May was when YOU became my best friend; I had loads of issues with Tracy and you were the person with whom I shared these the most. In fact, I felt like a fool for originally considering Tracy as my best friend when there was a beautiful soul like you; of course, I was blinded by my affection for Tracy which had trapped me in a toxic relationship. Nevertheless, I was thankful to God for creating you and bringing you into my life. We slowly and steadily began chatting almost on a daily basis. You would constantly share pictures, videos and Insta reels; but my personal favourite is the voice notes!! Whenever I felt low I would turn to you and you would almost instantly make me feel better!! Moreover, you took the time to reply to almost each and every message of mine and the best part was that it didn’t matter that you were married and were living in a different country!!

In the beginning of June, my Facebook and Instagram accounts were suspended for political reasons and at the same time Tracy was ignoring me; no surprise that you were the person who made me smile again <3; though the ban meant I could never see you on Insta again  . Your Insta reels really made my day; it’s such a pity I can never see them again until and unless a miracle happens and my Insta account is restored; I am even unable to create a new account because of the unfavourable political atmosphere!! Anyway, for such close friends like us, social media (apart from Whatsapp) is not really required!!

One of the many things I appreciate about you is that you share things with me that you would sometimes share with no one; not even Patrick or your parents!! Same way, I also feel very very comfortable in sharing things with you that I would share with no one in the world!! In the 2^nd week of August, I saw a side of you that I had never seen before – that of a strict, at times harsh; elderly sister figure; in fact sometimes sounding like my Mom or your Mom!! Initially I was apprehensive, but then when you called me; I realised that your anger with me was due to concern for me – you didn’t want me to become a negative person with low self-confidence. If a friend is angry with you for your sake, you should keep him/her as a friend for the rest of your life!!

We had a few more calls in August, since there were a lot of issues at work. Though you were always willing to encourage and reassure me; at the same time, you did not want me to turn into a person who is always low on self-esteem and constantly seeks guidance and advice. Hence, you were firm that I should develop self-belief and love, appreciate and embrace myself and not blame my circumstances. Yes, like you said, you might sound harsh but you unconditionally love me and hence need to be harsh at times. In fact, you made me promise that I would always focus on work during work hours and (jokingly of course!!) you would block me if I got distracted!! Man, I love it when my best friend goes into stricttuuu, strictuuu mode!!

However, the biggest thing you did for me was to remind me of my positive qualities when I was feeling REALLY low; after being warned by my boss and a senior colleague about receiving complaints from a few of my female colleagues regarding my messaging them; though of course they understood that my intentions were not wrong in anyway. I was feeling at my lowest ebb then and hating myself; when you pointed out the innate good qualities in me and also gave me some valuable advice regarding behaviour with girls. I was in such a bad state that I vented my feelings by putting some controversial statuses on Whatsapp; it was you who made me promise that I would never do that again – your words produced the effect that my parents’ words on the same weren’t able to produce, since then I have always been careful while posting statuses on Whatsapp; though I very briefly relapsed just last month.

In October, we had our longest call to date; followed by yet another visit to India. This was when I had the time of my life; my first ever scooter ride with you during which we did a lot of shopping – I will never forget that day for the rest of my life!! In fact, this scooter ride succeeded the first and only time we had alone; at your home. This was because your parents were busy managing the Cancer Trust during the Durga Pooja; thus we enjoyed at least half an hour of BFF-to-BFF talk, again something to cherish for the rest of my life!! In fact, from then on; we were no longer simply best friends – we were as good as cousins and that too very close cousins!!

In November we had two more calls as well as a truckload of voice note exchanges. By the way, I forgot to mention that the gifts you have got for me every time you visited India have always been extremely thoughtful – Muesli, Walnuts, The Dead Sea Face Mask and last but not the least, the Kenyan Chocolate Green Tea you got me during your latest visit in Dec 2024!! Also, I absolutely love the photos and videos you share of every exotic country you visit – Zanzibar, Bhutan, Kenya, Albania to name a few!! Additionally, you trust me enough to share really intimate pics; including those of you and Patrick  .

Well, I think I have covered enough of our shared experiences. Now, I just want to say that I am 200% grateful to God for giving me the chance to meet you and get to know you. I want this relationship to continue for the rest of my life – including the relationship with your parents as well as Patrick!! Also, I am sorry I haven’t always followed your counsel; but now I am working on becoming a much better human being and will therefore ensure I keep all the promises I have made to you and follow every single piece of advice you provide. Additionally, I am thankful to you to for being patient with my sometimes continuous messaging – that is not something everyone does. On this note, I will end this long, long, long essay about you. I hope you didn’t get bored at any point while reading so much and I am thankful to you in advance for going through all this when you have so much other stuff to do!!