Another Open Letter To My Little Brother In Chennai

DISCLAIMER: As in all open letters of mine, most names have been changed for the sake of online privacy.

Hi Ashley, this is the second open letter I am writing to you, the first having been written this June – for your reference and for the sake of continuity, here it is: https://ashwinkumar1989.in/2026/06/11/open-letter-to-my-little-brother-in-chennai/ . Since writing this and another for your brother Andy in the same month; I have not written any open letter till today, so please excuse any dip in quality. And yes, I will warn you that this too will be quite long; however, what I lack in brevity; I’ll make up by piquing your interest. So, sit back and enjoy the ride!

To refresh your memory, I have covered all my thoughts and feelings about and experiences with you till your eventful first trip to Mumbai with me in January 2015. In February, I watched a movie with you alone at a theatre for the first time – KV Anand’s “Anegan” starring Dhanush, Amyra Dastur and Karthik (veteran actor of “Mouna Raagam” fame among others) in key roles; we went all the way to the PVR-S2 Theyagaraja Cinemas (then under SPI Cinemas and now permanently shut down since this July), Thiruvanmiyur. You rightly guessed Karthik as the villain and we really enjoyed the thriller; for me though the highlight was undoubtedly the music of Harris Jayaraj – especially the runaway kuthu hit “Danga Maari Oodhari”.

On March 1st 2015, we went out to eat OMG Egg Burgers and followed the Pakistan vs Zimbabwe ICC Men’s ODI World Cup match at the same time through the TV at the shop; unfortunately Zimbabwe lost wickets in clusters and collapsed to 160-odd chasing 236, so we didn’t hang around to watch much. Later that month, I went on a train trip to Mangalore by 12685 Chennai Mangalore superfast and spoke to you on the phone for a while; you as expected teased the train for making an unscheduled halt before Arakkonam. You, Andy and I watched the World Cup final together and unfortunately it turned out to be one-sided; with Australia blowing New Zealand away for 180-odd and then chasing it easily. However, we had fun eating idlis from the mess opposite your house during the lunch break. Though Aus lost an early wicket during the chase, the “collapse” I was hoping for never came and they absolutely cruised to their 5th World Cup title.

Ashley, you became a teenager in June 2015. However, your maturity even then made us feel you were a young adult and at the same time, you had a childlike creativity and tendency to “call a spade a spade”; which made me admire you, though I would dread getting into debates or arguments with you – because i had absolutely no chance of winning! Grandpa Ron had his 89th birthday that year; never did we think it would be his last – I’ll of course come to that later. In September, we had one last dinner outing before Andy left for his Masters in USA later the same month – it was at one of our favourite haunts, Cream Centre Multi Cuisine Veg Restaurant in RA Puram and our “big brothers” Geoff and Vivian joined us. The place brings back memories because it was the venue for my first ever treat after getting a job (back in the summer of 2013) and it was the same 5 of us there then too!

September 2015 was a pivotal month for us, especially you; as till your early teens you were used to living with your dear big brother Andy and then that changed permanently, even if you two continue to be equally close despite the massive physical distance between the pair of you. I would say this made you mature even faster and develop mental toughness; especially after watching Andy in tears in Dec 2015 at the airport, returning to USA after a brief visit to Chennai. When I came to Chennai at the end of March 2016 after Grandpa Ron’s eventual demise, I was impressed with your account of how you allowed yourself to grieve properly and release your tears freely and then use a trip to Kolkata with your mother and her friend to rejuvenate yourself and find the strength to move on quickly. Take it from me, you are really good at healing and that will help you a LOT in the long run. We met the owner of a small shop nearby who used to be a friend of Grandpa Ron and hence always gave us biscuits and other stuff for free and I learned how worried he was when you told him about Grandpa Ron’s leg swelling in Jan 2016; it was almost like he anticipated what was to ultimately happen in two months.

I will always remember going with you (and of course Andy) to places like Opal Inn (where we had our favourite Sizzling Brownie on a couple of occasions) and Jalpaan (where I had a mocktail named “The Pink Lady”, much to the amusement to you and some of our relatives; especially Uncle Ryan, Vivian’s father. Oh and I am still dying to have “Death By Chocolate” – I have already had a Death by Chocolate icecream in April 2018 at Hakone near my home, but I specifically want to taste the version (IIRC it was more like a cake and not icecream) that you and Andy enjoyed in Munnar back in the summer of 2012. 2016 was the year you finally got your own phone; I envy you a bit for that since I too got my first own phone at the age of 14, but it was a classic Nokia phone with that legendary snake game and that time smartphones didn’t exist.

I remember having a long call with you in June 2017 during the ICC Champions Trophy in England. I was telling you how thrilled I was of Bangladesh pulling off a big upset against New Zealand; that too successfully chasing 266 from the depths of 33/4 on a seaming and swinging wicket, with the NZ pacers breathing fire – thanks to Mahmudullah and Shakib Al Hasan scoring a century each in one of the most legendary counterattacking partnerships seen in ICC events. However, you felt sorry for the NZ captain Kane Williamson and then I too felt the same; he would soon become one of my all-time favourite cricketers, an absolute gentleman legendary for his sportsmanship and fighting spirit at the same time – I can never forget how sportingly Kane took the sheer heartbreak of the ICC Men’s 2019 ODI World Cup final against England, where NZ were denied a win due to a combination of bad luck, an umpiring blunder and a ridiculous Super Over rule; gracious and sad at the same time!!

Sorry I am not focussing on the main subject, which is YOU, Ashley! I suppose I just get carried away too often…..anyway, I was briefly using the infamous Sarahah app and I got roasted by an anonymous person regarding Harris Jayaraj and Ron Weasley and I had no doubt that that person was you!! You should actually take part in stand-up comedy roasting, I am not joking!! It would be great to have more Tamilians in a setup dominated by Hindi-speaking people and you have a dry sense of humour and plenty of sarcasm, street smarts and wits; you are a combination of Ravenclaw and Slytherin!! In Dec 2017, I had my first experience of Barbecue Nation; with you and Andy of course!! It was a memorable experience not only because of the rich food but also because of the fun and political stuff we discussed. I will forever remember something you said last year regarding that night in Dec 2017 – your appreciation of me buying stuff from a poor kid begging on the streets; Ashley, I love you all the more of this, because I was drowning in my insecurities due to relationship trauma and posted a whatsapp status about wanting to become evil – you saw (and still continue to see) only the good in me and reminded me of that incident, so that I wouldn’t lose hope in the world and continue being a good person. I owe you Ashley!!

In October 2018, we had a wonderful dinner at Kaidi Kitchen – you, me, my sister Sarah, Amma and J Grandpa. By now, you and Sarah had begun to bond well thanks to your shared passion for law. In March 2019, there was an ant infestation in a box of sweets I took from Chennai to Karaikkudi in a train; due to which the hotel room where I was staying had to be thoroughly cleaned. To vent my feelings, I put a whatsapp status calling for all insects to be killed – to be frank, I still have a phobia for anything that has six legs or more: insects, spiders (just like Ron Weasley), centipedes and millipedes. However, you beautifully grounded me by talking about the ecological balance brought about by insects like bees; this despite you having been the victim of an unprovoked sting by a honeybee when you were a child – it actually got your neck!! You truly have a heart of gold, Ashley and your capacity for empathy has no limits!!

All right, all right, I have covered 8 paragraphs already (not counting the intro) and it is time for my monologue to end. I will cover the rest in more open letters; hope you enjoyed reading this one as much as I enjoyed writing it!! Oh, and I am always there for your Ashley, regardless of distance!!