Another Open Letter To My Sister Unborn

DISCLAIMER: All names have been changed for the sake of maintaining online privacy.

Hi Stella, this is my third open letter to you, please do not mind (for your reference; here are the first two: https://ashwinkumar1989.in/2025/02/02/an-open-letter-to-my-unofficial-sister/ and https://ashwinkumar1989.in/2025/04/18/an-open-letter-to-my-dearest-cousin-sister/). However, this one will be somewhat shorter. You are my closest cousin, though of course not a cousin by birth. Almost exactly a year ago, I called you my best friend. Now “cousin” has replaced “friend”. No woman has been as patient with me in my life as you are. However, at the same time, no one in my age group has been as strict with me as you are. A beautiful irony, isn’t it? Yet, it is the truth! You are like my mother (and also your mother of course!) when it comes to my general wellbeing, whether it be work or my personal life. However, unlike a mother, you do not show any restraint; you are brutally honest and at the same time you can be exceptionally sweet too!!

You have shared with me countless things over the years; I obviously won’t reveal them here in order to maintain confidentiality, but it shows how strong and unshakable (in your own words) our bond is. I also feel I can trust you with anything and everything in the world. You have been going through a lot over the last one month or so, during the course of your longest stay in India (at least as far as I know!!). I am often worried about you, because you are too kind and care too much about others and thus invest less time in yourself. However, you are also a very strong woman and can take care of yourself so well that even your husband Patrick need not worry at all. All the same, as a brother, I feel a certain responsibility and hence check in on you on an almost daily basis.

I know I sometimes get distracted from work, but I have been working on myself daily behind the scenes. I am trying to become a better human being on the whole, whether it be work or my character in general. Change can’t happen overnight; it will take some time. However, I assure you it will happen for sure. And it won’t take a long time either. You will see a new Ashy this very month itself. Or I would rather say, the Ashy before August 2024 who was usually free, uninhibited, happy and on the whole positive. I am assuring you all this because I know the efforts you are putting into making me a better person; in the midst of your work as well as personal issues.

I am not sure I have mentioned how much I admire your character. You make so many sacrifices for those you hold dear, whether it be your parents or Patrick or even me for that matter!! You are empathetic to another level altogether; ALWAYS you think from the other person’s perspective and put others’ needs before those of yours. However, I think this is an area of improvement for you; you should be careful that you don’t put yourself under the bus while focussing on other people – even when it comes to family, cousins (including me!!), relatives or close friends. On the other hand, I have noticed one positive change in you; you are not as apologetic as you used to be earlier and are much more direct. Keep it up, Stella!!

I am going to tell you a few secrets in the coming days, so be prepared. In fact, I am going to need your help for a few things, including writing a detailed bio for my Shaadi.com profile – but of course, only once you are back to Dubai. For your own sake, I want you to return to Dubai as early as you can; your company needs you and Patrick will be missing you quite badly; though of course, as your mother told me once; he dotes on you and is finding many ways to keep himself occupied 24X7 in your absence. Also, I am now even more worried about you, given the India-Pakistan situation; your poem on the same was beautiful and also powerful – it has shown me how difficult and complicated the situation is and how people (especially me I!!) often spend time worrying about stuff that is trivial compared to this. You are really brave in choosing to stay in India till all your work here is done; instead of choosing to return to Dubai as soon as possible – which would actually have been such a sensible choice. I truly admire your love for our nation and its people, despite the fact that your actual place of residence and work is Dubai.

I am really sorry for my not giving you space over the last two days. I was very tense due to the prospect of an appraisal and one-on-one session; more, in fact, due to the latter – since I know I have done really well as far as work is concerned, but there have been issues with my behaviour towards female colleagues – this I have told you of course. Your advice to stay calm and look at things from a positive angle was very helpful, but as my colleagues began talking; I got nervous again. And after the appraisal and one-on-one session were over, I was mightily relieved since both had gone much better than I expected. However, the India-Pakistan situation and the constant news and talk about it made me feel on the edge again. Of course, I have no excuse for my actions and will definitely make it up to you; not to mention, never repeating this ever again in my entire life – this time there will be no relapse after a positive change for a week or so, as has usually tended to happen with me!!

Since I have got a good raise, there will definitely be a treat for you in the offing; if we have time, that is – and it will be a fantastic treat for sure!! Also, I know I have been over caring off late, I will definitely tone it down and treat you the same way I treat my parents; especially in terms of respect. I will do my very best to be calm and stay strong for your sake, no matter what the situation may be; like a true elder brother. Though you have told me you don’t want to set boundaries, I would be very open if you decide to change your mind – because, as per what I have read, some boundaries are usually necessary for a healthy and permanent relationship. Finally, please know that I am ready to do anything for you (and your family of course!!) – anything that is ethical AND legal of course!! All you have to do is ask. On this note, I will end the open letter – thank you in advance for reading so patiently!!

PS: Please stay safe and be at peace, don’t watch news much, it will drive you mad. I really hope and pray flights to Dubai resume as quickly as possible, so that you can return soon. Please book ASAP once flights resume.