An Open Letter To My Sister

DISCLAIMER: All names of family members, relatives, cousins, friends etc. have been changed for the sake of online privacy.

Hi Sarah, I am writing an open letter to you. No, this is not like the open letters people usually address to celebrities or the government. Here, I am just expressing my thoughts and feelings regarding my only sibling. I am not an expert at this sort of thing, so please bear with me. Here goes:

Oh Sarah, where to start? I am very proud to have you as my own sister. When you were born, I was just six years old and in the second standard. As I am sure you will remember, a very unfortunate incident happened. Accidentally, the TV fell on you and somehow by God’s grace you survived. I don’t know how exactly it happened, just that I touched it lightly and it fell on you almost instantly. I felt guilty at that time, but soon our parents assured me that it wasn’t my fault and the TV was not placed properly. All in all, it is a miracle that you survived and moreover the incident didn’t leave many scars on you; physical or mental – again, highly thankful to the Lord for this!

Like most siblings, we had our share of fights. However, I am ashamed to say that I reacted really badly; getting physical most of the time. I may be autistic and not knowing it at that time, but that doesn’t excuse my behaviour. I now understand that you were only trying to get closer to me and show your care and affection by teasing me constantly; something I badly misunderstood then. Also, I am highly grateful to you for forgiving every such instance of my behaviour; it shows you have always loved me and cared for me (and continue to do so now)!!

For a few years, we used to go to school together; something I always loved, though I didn’t show it then; perhaps didn’t even realise – because at that time I only wanted to have fun in life and never thought of building relationships. There was a funny incident – G Grandpa and Kylie Grandma had gone on a tour of Ooty before you born and due to some incomprehensible mistake, you came in many of the photos; for years we used to joke that you went to Ooty before you were born!! 😛  When we went to Kodaikanal, you were not even a year old and our close uncle Barty (more like cousin though 😛 ) kept teasing you; comparing you with a mango and saying he would turn you into a frog. I am really happy that you (helped by our dear cousin Natalie) got back at him many many years later; calling him some “Sundara Paripoorna” – God knows what that means, but I am glad you got your revenge!! 😛

Our very dear cousin Andy, you and I have always had a lot of fun; especially during every summer vacation when we visited Chennai. I still remember us seeing a red moon when we visited Nageswara Rao Park back in the summer of 2001; it was a bit scary at that time given our ages 😛 . Also, you were always outgoing and fearless when it came to social interaction. Plus, you were (still are!!) very talented when it came to music – whether it be singing or playing the keyboard. Given initially you wanted to become a doctor, then a singer, then a fashion designer; none of us could have guessed you were ultimately going to become a lawyer!! I am quite proud of you though; you have matured like wine that gets better with age!!

I still cannot forget the fact that it was you and Andy who introduced me to Youtube in the first place. This was in the summer of 2007 and you both made fun of me regarding the song “Gulmohar Malare” from the Tamil movie “Majunu”; repeatedly playing the song on Youtube . I already liked the song very much, being a fan of Harris Jayaraj; but thanks to our banter I got addicted to it!! 😛  Though you are not as such a fan of Harris, I am chuffed that you love the song “Hasili Fisili” from the movie “Aadhavan”; which IMHO is one of his best. The Deepavali visit to Kodaganallur every year used to be fun mainly due to you and of course the train travel! We really enjoyed bathing in the Thamirabharani river and your constant chatter and jokes spiced things up!! In 2009, post the Kodaganallur trip; we had an amazing time in Singapore – especially when you, Mom and I commuted by the metro rail to various places, though we also fought a few times.

Regarding Harry Potter, we had our share of funny moments, with you saying “Grimmauld Palace” instead of “Grimmauld Place” ; though, as Andy said, it was a mistake anyone could make. I also pronounced “Cedric” as “Ceedric”; in my case it was due to Tamil influence, though I didn’t know to read or write Tamil (now I can read, but damn slowly) 😛 . Best of all, Andy, you and I did prank calls; including one to one of my Engineering college classmates who found out and got pissed 😛 . You kept your name as “Narcissa” – again a Harry Potter connection 😛 .

In 2011, when I shifted to Chennai for my MBA and stayed with G Grandpa and Kylie Grandma; we had a great time (especially at Thiruvanmiyur Beach) when you came over along with Mom. It was the time I think when you started to develop a soft corner for Chennai (having been a proud Mumbaikar till then!!) ; though never did I imagine you would start your first job there 7 years later and become a pukka Chennaiite!! Though I missed you sometimes during my period in Chennai; our Skype calls ensured that we stayed in touch on a regular basis. It also greatly helped that I kept visiting Mumbai occasionally.

In 2013, we had an amazing time in Macau and Hong Kong just before my first job in Chennai. Then you took the first step towards your career in Law, by starting your LLB from one of the best Law colleges in Mumbai. In the beginning of 2014, we (joined by our very close cousin Geoff) had a fantastic time at the Mumbai Marathon; representing Mom’s best friend’s Cancer Trust. This was just a teaser for what was about to come later in the same year. I made the shortest of trips to Mumbai to vote in the Lok Sabha Elections; what I fondly remember is that when Mom was arguing with me regarding the political party for which I had voted; you came to my defence. How sweet of you; the same way you had stood up for me the previous year in Hong Kong when Dad was trying to make me wear half shirts instead of my preferred t-shirts ❤ . As for the rest of 2014, I will cover it in the next two paragraphs 😀 .

2014 was a momentous year, because it marked our first trip outside Asia; in fact, to none other than the United States of America!! Apart from the jetlag at the start of the trip and the biting cold weather of Galesburg and Rochester; we had the time of our lives – staying with our relatives in all the cities we visited. You were quite the expert in giving directions with the help of Google Maps 😀 . Also, when we went to see the aquatic mammals (like dolphins, seals, manatees etc.) putting on a show for us; your timely shout of “Oh My God!! Peacock!!” ensured we captured it well 😉 . I (and frankly the rest of our immediately family) still cannot forget your eagle eyes spotting a Mc Donalds’ outlet from the plane, when we were making a landing at New Jersey 😛 !!

Chicago was arguably the best part of our mini-vacation, especially the Michigan Lake cruise and the Hancock Tower. We had a fantabulous time with our cousins Natalie and Nathan; as well as their parents, Uncle Steve and Aunt Lisa. You and Natalie were already very close, being of almost the same age; but you got close with Nathan as well. Also, I forgot to mention an interesting incident that happened at the Mumbai International Airport; where we first boarded the flight to USA. We happened to come across famous New Zealand cricketer Corey Anderson, along with an Australian friend of his (probably another cricketer) and it was thanks mainly to you and Mom that we took a selfie with them – you even had the guts to ask the rather stiff Anderson to smile; again, something I will never forget for the rest of my life!! 😀

In 2015, you, Geoff and I had a lot of fun at our favourite haunt in Chennai, Coffee World in Alwarpet; which unfortunately doesn’t exist today  . You and Geoff ragged me (in your own words!!) about my obsession with anything British 😛 . You also got to meet my best friend and then colleague Tracy for the first time (unfortunately that friendship has ended now, that’s not something I would like to discuss here). Towards the end of the year, the two of us watched a movie (“Bajirao Mastani”) for the first time; though the occasion was grim, as earlier in the day Ron Grandpa had had a nasty fall; which led to a series of complications concerning his heart and kidneys – ultimately culminating in his demise in March 2016.

After Ron Grandpa’s passing away, the next few days were naturally quite depressing; but thanks to you, I soon returned to normal. You always infect us with your positivity, no matter what. During the Goa trip later that year (which, by the way, was our last trip with Kylie Grandma); I enjoyed our banter regarding my obsession with “Hotel Samrat”, which actually turned out to be Hotel Kamath!! October 2017 was very special, since after the annual Kodaganallur visit; we toured Rameshwaram for the first time – IMHO the best trip we ever had in South India. Apart from the capricious charm of Dhanushkodi Beach, the highlight was the return train journey; where we took selfies with the famous Pamban Bridge!!

In Aug 2018, we faced a lot of hardships while shifting house in Chennai and your patience, optimism and fortitude were of great help to us. The very next month, you started your first job, in Chennai and that too working directly under a very senior High Court lawyer. On New Year’s Eve, after I attended an ex-colleague’s wedding in Borivali, Mumbai; we had a wonderful time with a lot of cute cats (with the exception of one that mildly scratched me) at Cat Café Studio, Versova – an absolutely unforgettable afternoon!!

 I forgot to mention that we had a very special relationship with a cat that we named “Kuttaj” in our new rented house in Chennai. Kuttaj was very dear to you in particular and you were so attached to it (Kuttaj didn’t have a gender, being castrated for its own safety after an accident) that you ensured a portrait of Kuttaj was hung in the house; after the poor cat died in Feb 2019. Awww so sweet ❤ !! Then came our grand trip to Ireland and England in June; IMHO our best trip ever. Dublin was the perfect start; Natalie, who was doing her internship there, was the perfect tour guide (you would learn a lot from her 😀 ) and we had a fabulous time with her and her family; the best part was the word association game we played on our last night – then only I learned that you loved Cothas Coffee!!

Seeing England of course was like a dream come true for me. We had a fantastic time touring London atop the open Double Decker bus; as well as the cruise on the Thames River. However, the major highlight of course was Wimbledon – even more than the matches that we watched (including two close games – in one of them, your favourite player Novak Djokovic was given a tough fight by Polish challenger Hubert Hurkacz) we enjoyed the camping the night before; which included socialising with English and South African fans – you got along rather well with an English lady, whose fiancé/husband turned out to be a schoolmate of famous former England ex-cricketer Alistair Cook!! Also, you got even closer to Nathan; during the time we spent in England.

Fast forward to 2020, the beginning of the pandemic. I was going through a really tough time, with my marriage (supposed to happen in Pondicherry in March) getting indefinitely postponed due to the lockdown and facing various other struggles, due to the numerous COVID restrictions and work suffering as well. In this time, your mere presence in our Chennai home was of great comfort to all of us; especially when we had to shift house again in May. Apart from being a great support in ensuring the house was in order, you also looked after our ailing Kylie Grandma on an almost full-fledged basis in these two pandemic years.

However, your greatest act was in nearly single-handedly (I say “nearly” only because Tracy was also partially involved, though she has always tried to take full credit for it) rescuing me from a wreck of a marriage; even as I, blinded by love, tried to defend my wife until you and Tracy forced her to confess her wrongs. Though Tracy’s role ended with my wife and I’s separation on that fateful day; yours didn’t. You, your boss and your team of lawyers almost literally worked around the clock in order to ensure a successful divorce for me; even as the sordid details about the marriage reduced you to tears quite a few times!! Also, the estrangement ensured I developed a stronger bond with you as well as Dad.

We had a great time when you visited Mumbai during Christmas. There was a funny incident just after New Year’s Day, when we had a late breakfast at The Social, Powai. Along with the regular vegetarian items (mostly South Indian) that we all had ordered, the two of us had also ordered Egg items; however, as a “bonus” we got Bacon and Chicken Sausages as well!! 😛 You felt the bacon was overdone, while I felt it was kind of barbecued – something that you agreed with!! Meanwhile the divorce process was proving to be long and tedious; getting extended not only due to the lack of co-operation from my estranged wife’s side but also COVID itself. It is here that I must admire your sheer patience, tolerance and perseverance; as well as the shrewdness that every lawyer possesses.

The best part of 2021 was the surprise visit you made to Mumbai in July. I had gone out for some scooter repair work and when I returned, I heard your voice as well as that of Mom’s. Naturally, I thought that the pair of you were conversing on the phone and some reason you were so excited that I could hear your voice even at the door. Then as the door was opened, I saw you and my jaw dropped!! One of the best surprises I have ever had in my life ❤ Seems a lot of planning had gone into this – I must say you are an expert in surprises!! 😉

September onwards, 2021 didn’t turn out to be great. After I came to Chennai for attending some court hearings pertaining to my divorce; you had a bout of fainting and had to be admitted to Billroth Hospital nearby. I was really worried about you and also angry with the hospital for making you stay longer, in order to extract money. While I was relieved after you made a full recovery, tragedy soon struck; in the form of Kylie Grandma’s untimely demise (at the age of just 78!!) at the same hospital!! This shocker would have affected you the most apart from Mom and G Grandpa; since you were very close to Grandma and also played a major role in looking after her health, all the time you were working in Chennai. However, you proved to be exceptionally strong and thus were once again a major source of comfort to all of us.

During the initial period after Grandma’s demise; a lot of relatives visited us and some of them stayed. Thus, we got closer to our cousin Samuel and his family; who stayed at Thoraipakkam. Here after, we made regular visits to Thoraipakkam and had a great time with Samuel, his mother Sheila and his grandparents. The movies Samuel recommended us to watch were always unique – especially “The Platform” , “Exam” and “Jigarthanda” . 2021 ended on a thrilling note; with our trek to Senji Kottai Fort. It was a gruelling climb, but the enthusiasm that you and Samuel showed in particular rubbed off on the rest of us and thus the trip was absolutely unforgettable.

In Jan 2022, you took me to the High Court one fine afternoon and ensured I finally got my divorce papers; which gave me a lot of relief – great job, Sarah!! Again, we had to shift house, this time to our own house – it would soon become yours, as Dad and I would return to Mumbai, followed by Mom and G Grandpa!! Living alone is much more difficult than it sounds and I must say you managed extremely well; especially considering that the renovation work was rather shoddy and thus there were a lot of teething troubles when we moved there. Meanwhile, you dropped a bomb on us 😛 ; in the form of your decision to do a Masters in Law and Gender Studies in UK. Dad, you and I celebrated this towards the end of May in the form of some fine white wine (that too at home!!) – I remember this particularly because it was the evening of the IPL final that year!!

We came to Chennai in September for your farewell. During this time, I interacted with your close friend Patricia and found her to be a very sweet and charming girl; though also quite talkative 😉 . The best part is that she is a Potterhead like me 😀 !! We all had the time of our lives at your farewell party at the Hyatt – apart from our immediate family, the company also included Mom’s elder brother Alfred Uncle, Andy’s brother Ashley, Geoff, Patricia and Tracy. Of course, you, Geoff, Patricia, Tracy and I helped ourselves to a truckload of non-vegetarian items – haven been given the green signal by Mom!!  At the time of your cake cutting, Geoff, you and I had become like rock pythons (in your own words) ; so much food had we had!! 😛

After we bid you farewell at the Airport a day later, we knew that life was definitely not going to be the same without you  . However, Mom had regular calls with you during the night (as per Indian time); during which I joined occasionally. As the months passed, the primary purpose of the calls turned out to be solving the word game Wordle!! However, just as I started missing you (I mean, REALLY missing you); we decided to make a trip to London in June 2023; to visit you as well as to watch the WTC final between India and Australia at the Oval. You turned out to be quite the tour guide, especially because at most places cash was not accepted and obviously Indian credit and debit cards and UPI wouldn’t work!!

Though the match by itself was not exciting to watch, with Australia dominating almost right from the start; we had a memorable time at the Oval – sipping Bira Lager Beer as well as having ice-cream; both were required, considering the rather hot weather!! Your friend Stephanie was a great sport, especially when it came to her interest in Harry Potter as well as cricket – she was firm in her decision to continue watching the game and rooting for India even when it became obvious that India was going to get thrashed and I suggested supporting Australia instead!! Moreover, she was absolutely thrilled when Dad gave her a spare team India cricket jersey!! However, we had to prepone our return; not just because of India’s disappointing performance, but also because, with you being busy with some work; we wouldn’t have been able to tour London on our own – for the reasons explained in the previous paragraph!!

Again, I didn’t have to miss you for long; because you made another trip to India towards the end of Sept. This time you stayed long, till the 2^nd half of Dec. We all made another trip to Chennai in Oct, during which your birthday was celebrated twice – due to a cake sent by Stephanie arriving the day before and Patricia coming with another cake on the birthday!! Before you returned to London, we had a rather emotional farewell (with some fine Gin which you had brought from London) during which the bond between us strengthened. As the months passed, our thoughts turned from missing you (again!!) to worrying about you getting a decent job, given the economic crisis in UK. We always had faith in you and that ultimately paid off as you finally got a really good job, though it was more about researching and preparing cases. Words can’t express how proud we were (and still are!!), as you then proceeded to clear the exams required for practising law in UK – that’s one step further towards becoming a solicitor; something that you have always wanted to do in UK, the most systematic and organised country as far as Law is concerned!!

You made another visit to India in Dec 2024 and it was so, so thoughtful of you; to get me that snake coffee mug!! Again, words cannot express how lucky I feel I am to have you as a sister. I was really chuffed that Patricia stayed with us for a few days; this time we talked a lot more and she even asked me to let me know when I would come to Chennai next, so that we could hang out – may the Almighty bless her!! Again, Dad, you and I had some fine Gin along with dinner; before you left for London. On that note, I would like to conclude this gargantuan article – apologies if I bored you and thank you in advance for reading so patiently!! Take care and love you loads!!