Recruitment Doesn’t Like Me

Poem that describes the relationship between me and my profession in a brutally accurate manner; here is the content:

Recruitment doesn’t like me

In fact, it actually hates me

Ruins my happiness

Destroys my inner peace

Makes me feel at my lowest

Does its very best

To try and turn me into a blubbering mess

Sometimes, actually succeeds!

Recruitment doesn’t like me

Never lets me be

Totally stresses me out

And kicks me in the butt

As I burn my fingers

Trying to close positions

Tearing my hair out

Trying to schedule a meet

All in all, I’m the loser

And Satan, the winner!!

Recruitment doesn’t like me

It can even kill me

As I chase candidates

My blood pressure rises

So does my heart rate

Even as I try to put up a fight

My organs begin to fail

One by one

In vain, I try to give it my all

But Lucifer is destined to win

Thus, with an almighty choke

The bucket, I kick

I repeat, Recruitment doesn’t like me

And will never like me

Until I become a wizard

And wield the Elder Wand!!